my boyfriend of eight yearswho is 44 years old, has adhd and he runs his own Business. He has always struggled with administrative and mundane tasks, but A.I. Is He revolutionized the way he worked. Now I’m worried he can’t do anything Without Ai. He is a heavy ChatGPT user and It is also used when a better non-AI alternative exists (for example). he will ask It’s time for the train instead of usEng trainline, even if it is less accurate). he just got his chatgpt wrapped And he is in the top 0.3% of users worldwide.
I am worried about his ability to think independently, as well as environmental impacts. I know it’s a useful tool for that at work, but he uses it for everything In life.
I am well aware that I can come across as a very irritable person, And his ADHD can make him obsessive. I would like some advice on how to reach this with them .
Running a business can be stressful, and although your boyfriend’s ADHD may be a factor, I wonder if he’s worried anyway and whether his use of AI is a symptom rather than the cause.
I took your letter to consultant clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Dr. Stephen Blumenthal and CEO Henry Shelford adhd uk.
Blumenthal wondered whether we are on the verge of a new clinical category of “chatbot overdependence syndrome” as we enter an era in which we become increasingly dependent on AI. When used judiciously, AI helps us, but if we become dependent on it and lose the ability to function normally it can have devastating consequences.
“Someone with ADHD has short attention spans, difficulty concentrating and reduced ability to plan and think ahead, so AI is a perfect fit, which is why it can be so helpful. The downside is that there is a greater tendency to become overly dependent on it.”
Shelford wondered whether your lover was struggling anyway, and did the AI provide a useful “flotation aid”? “AI can get you into trouble,” he said, “but it can also support you and help you organize your thoughts, schedule things, and get things done.”
Your boyfriend’s use of AI seems to go much further than this. It sounds like he’s doubting himself, and that can be harmful.
Blumenthal says: “Problems arise when the use of AI goes beyond satisfying the problem you want to solve. It feels as if a relationship begins to develop with it, and you imbue it with human qualities, which are a projection of our own desires and wishes for validation and care.”
What to do? You’re right not to bother, that rarely solves anything, as it just becomes noise. As with all tender and difficult conversations, choose a moment when both of you are calm.
Shelford recommends asking your boyfriend, “‘What are you getting from this? Why is this device so big and what gaps is it filling?’ Then see if there are better solutions or better ways to use it.
Blumenthal thought: “As with any over-dependence syndrome, the first thing that needs to be done is to recognize that there is a problem. It’s easy to criticize the person who is struggling, but this is likely to push them further back into dependency. The case should be made compassionately, recognizing that living without the scaffolding of chatty gpt probably feels like a threat.”
The good news is that, unlike the generation growing up with AI, your boyfriend has a track record of doing a good job even without it. Hopefully he can be reminded of this and find a place where AI will enhance his already existing abilities. But it sounds like she is worried and I think the reason needs to be found so that you both can move on.
Each week, Annalisa Barbieri tackles a personal problem sent in by a reader. If you would like advice from Annalisa, please send your problem ask.annalisa@theguardian.com. Annalisa regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to Our Terms and Conditions. Annalisa’s latest podcast series is available Here.
