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Ahh, Christmas party season. That blur of sequins, sparkling wine and stunning dance moves; That time of year when that carefully crafted image you’ve spent the other eleven and a half months perfecting can be undone in seconds by one ill-judged comment or romantic advance. Party season is in full swing for many of us this week. Aren’t you happy?
Given the reputational risks – especially for those who struggle to limit free alcohol consumption – perhaps this is overkill. OhoParty season. Perma-hangovers, lack of sleep and seasonal viruses combined with mince pies and nonstop Mariah Carey are sure to leave many of us feeling down by the time Christmas rolls around. or maybe it’s even more bah (Humbug), party season. A recent survey Found that most British workers would love to swap office celebrations for extra cash.
So should we abandon the entire venture? Should we accept the fact that times have changed? No one really wants to get drunk anymore, it seems, let alone with co-workers, whom we now spend only an average of a few days a week with.
Of course not – and not just because then we’d miss the salacious gossip and HMRC’s “annual party” tax rebate (it is). a real one thing). No, the Christmas party is more than just a tax break; It is more than a cultural institution. It’s one of the very few times of year when we can properly connect with other people, whether they’re coworkers, clients, contacts, or crushes. We should not take it lightly.
Because, despite the fact that many of us are spending several hours a day in each other’s virtual company, it’s not as if we’re feeling a sense of communion with each other in our daily lives – in fact, quite the contrary. Gallup’s “State of the Global Workplace 2025According to the report, 22 percent of employees reported feeling “very” lonely in the past day a recent survey According to the Office for National Statistics, one in four British adults feel lonely “often or always” or “sometimes”.
And the loneliest? It is not the old who are more likely to be unable to go out and meet people, but the young: 16- to 29-year-olds are the most lonely (40 percent of them), followed by 30- to 49-year-olds. Young people are also increasingly turning to artificial intelligence for emotional support: A survey by Common Sense Media found in July that 72 percent of American teens had used AI chatbots as “companions.” And while moderate use may help reduce feelings of loneliness, research suggests Heavy users are more likely to feel isolated.
Annual end-of-year celebrations are the perfect time to make some human connections – and not just because of the way alcohol can allow us to let our guard down (sometimes a little too far). There is a sense of closure at this time of year, as well as a focus on family, friends, love, the things that really matter. For some people, this makes it a very special period; For others, the obvious lack of these things can make it extremely painful. But while a summer party may be all about “networking” (shudder) and showing off more sophisticated, sun-kissed versions of yourself, the Christmas party brings a unique opportunity to bond.
What it requires, however, is something some of us are reluctant to show: vulnerability. We often feel let down after experiencing what social researcher and author Brené Brown has called the “vulnerability hangover”: the regret, anxiety, and shame we can feel after opening up to someone else and sharing our innermost fears, desires, and difficulties.
But while sharing your feelings may feel extremely uncomfortable, what you’re doing by being vulnerable is making it possible for others to do the same. He is priceless. Because vulnerability is not something we should be uncomfortable with. Rather, as Brown argues in his 2012 book very courageousIt is “the birthplace of love, belonging, happiness, courage, empathy and creativity”. (Such words may even irritate you, especially if you’re an emotionally repressed Brit, but that doesn’t stop them from being true.)
In a study of 1,000 American adults in nature Last month, researchers found that “the strength of a new emotional bond can be predicted by measures of the vulnerability that each two individuals show in relation to one another”. In other words, if we don’t reveal ourselves, we can’t truly expect to connect with others – as Brown warns, protecting ourselves from being vulnerable is “a remedy for our fear and disconnection”.
We need to get better at all types of discomfort, including the emotional kind. Consider this party season as the perfect time to do so. If you’re not suffering from a vulnerability hangover, you might not be doing it right.
jemima.kelly@ft.com
